A lot of people were shocked, angry or speechless when Trump’s lewd comments about women were made public. Trump has bragged about his support for gender equality and how well women will do if he is president.  

Trump and his supporters fired back in his defense with comments like, “He’s not running for Sunday school teacher,” “It’s just locker room talk,” “All men talk this way.”

No, he’s not running for Sunday school teacher. He’s running for president of the whole country, not just president of people who think it’s ok to assault women, or talk about us like “things.”

Locker room talk? Whose locker room? Maybe if there is a locker room for rapists, and abusers and people who aspire to be.

Athletes like Chris Kluwe have been all over Twitter pushing back. It’s not their idea of locker room talk.

It’s normal for men to talk this way?

I’ve worked in sports clinics and been around a lot of professional athletes. I have a lot male friends. I have a son. The men I know do not talk like this. The men I know respect women and don’t talk about sexual assaults or grabbing them anywhere.

I don’t get the men and some women (a few are even evangelical Christians) who are defending Trump and trivializing the impact of his disgusting boasts.

The sick part of the degree to which he tries to deflect his statements, no big deal, locker room, etc.

Like a lot of people I’ve said and done things that I would never say or do today. In my work as a diversity and inclusion strategist, people tell me about biases they’ve had, assumptions they’ve made and actions they’ve taken in the past. They talk about how sorry they are today, and they understand exactly what was wrong with their thinking.

When confronted, Trump and his supporters get annoyed. They don’t apologize. They say everyone is being petty or overly sensitive.

Trump says he no one respects women more than he does. There are different ways to show respect, eye contact, no eye contact, using first names, only using last names, and none are right or wrong. The intention is to show respect.

But there is no way, nowhere and no culture where respect means grabbing women’s private body parts.

Trump is looking to lead the country. When a leader says they believe in equality for women and boasts that they are the best president for women, people expect that person to put those words into action.

We don’t expect that same person to boast in a different conversation about sexually assaulting women, and then when confronted take the stance that “boys will be boys.”

The same premise is true for leaders in organizations. If the CEO or anyone in a senior leadership position declares their support for diversity and inclusion, and gender equality, they are expected to be supportive of people from different backgrounds, provide opportunities for everyone to excel and create processes to get input.

Gender equality, respect and inclusion have to be more than words. Before you claim those values, take some time to define what they mean and what they look like in practice.

What you say in the locker room, when you’re alone with your friends or with your family has to be what you think, feel and mean. That’s what a real leader does.